Winter Always Comes To An End
by Wheatly234
Summary: When Bucky disobeys hydra's orders to kill Steve yet again, hydra decides that they have had enough of him so they kill him off with a virus...sick!Bucky
1. The fightings getting old, Buck

Cap's P.O.V  
Sam and I have been hunting down Bucky ever since our first encounter with him 3 months ago, here we are stuck in the same situation where Bucky's only mission seems to be to try and kill me again. Something was off, though, Bucky's mood seemed...different.

I was watching my companions battle Bucky's fellow Hydra Agents when I heard pounding footsteps coming from behind me. A first I thought the footsteps were Sam's but then when I turned I saw the Winter soldier himself headed full speed straight towards me.  
He ran right into me and punched, me hard in the gut, I probably would've avoided this if I wasn't so distracted I thought as I flipped him off me, making The Winter soldier AKA Bucky hit the ground his head slamming onto the pavement. _I must admit I was getting pretty tired of the fighting and a part of me was wondering why doesn't he just give up the bad guy act and join the good side already but then there's one other side, a small tiny side screaming just put the kid out of his misery, please! Don't worry I always ignore that side._  
Bucky got up quickly and got his gun out, it was aimed right at me. I pulled my shield up fast yet the was no fire of his rifle, I carefully lowered my shield and saw Bucky with his poker face on and his gun resting on his arm, ready to shoot me at any moment.  
"Cap, give me one good reason why I shouldn't shoot you in the face right now." He growls harshly. I take my cap off so he knows that yet again I'm not the enemy his gun should be aimed at, that he's pointing his rifle at the wrong person.  
"Please Bucky, you don't have to do this."  
"Why is it that I find myself having to tell you that, YOU'RE MY MISSION, and cap for the fifteenth time the mission is to see you dead, so why not just make my job a lot easier and drop dead now because killing you will get my arm all bloody and you know how hard it is to wash that stuff out of a mechanical arm." He grins at me but I disobey his orders...As always. I run at him and punch him in the face, I twist his arm backward and pinpoint him on the ground holding him there like a prisoner.  
"Don't make me do what I'm about to do, please Bucky I really don't wanna have to do this." After I say this Bucky looks straight up into my eyes and says this." Who the hell is Bucky?" He smirks after he says that, he was trying to taunt me into remembering when I first saw him as the winter soldier. I broke his arm and punched him in the gut then I punched him twice in his face.  
I got off of Bucky and let him catch his breath I heard something go into his earpiece it sounded like "Kill the red-white-and-blue bastard all ready." But then Bucky surprised me with this response,"DON'T CALL HIM THAT!"  
After he said this Natasha and Sam came up behind me, they always have my back.  
Bucky stood up and rested his gun by his side.  
"Buck don't do this, your a good person deep done, try and remember who you were before all of this."  
Bucky cocked his head sideways.  
"Steve let him go, he's not worth all this." Nat says to me, I hear Sam mumble "Yeah Steve, he broke my favorite pair of wings."  
I heard the ear piece go off again,"HEY, would you like to spend some time in a room where robots scream at you, or how about ten years in cryo again, get your ass in gear and kill him already we're awaiting your return with a dead Captain America in your arms and if you don't kill him now there will be consequences, one's that you won't like." Bucky frowned at the remark that hydra had told him I heard him mumble something along the lines of "I'm done with this shit.", Buck (For the first time) laid his gun down and put up his hands in surrender, something I have never seen him do, that's why I was so hesitant to actuality take him in.  
"Yeah I'm being told what to say by the way." He says as he motions for me to come and arrest him. I walked closer but Natasha ended up holding me back.  
"Steve he could be tricking you." She says but that was the last anyone had said before a shot rang out, I was unaware of what happened because of the smoke that has just gone off but once it settled I saw what had happened, Bucky was on the ground unconscious and his earpiece had fallen out of his ear.  
Me, Sam, And Natasha all ran to Bucky when I got there I quickly picked him up bridal style, I looked at his body and found that the shot had been aimed for the upper right corner of his chest and succeeded, blood streamed down my suit as I started to panic. Natasha picked up an IV needle off the ground and put it in her pocket.  
"What are you doing?" I ask breathlessly, I'm still panicking as you can tell.  
"It was right next to Bucky, I'm thinking maybe it's a clue." She says and Sam comes around the other side of her holding his earpiece.  
"Guys I think we've got something here." He says and then I here the earpiece go off once more," We told you that there's be consequences." And the intercom shorted out.  
"We need to get him on the Heli-carrier now!" I say as I start to breathe heavily.  
It felt like almost a billion years before we got Buck on the Heli-carrier and then to and available doctor but thank god we did because I would have had a heart attack if we didn't, I couldn't bare to watch the doctors pick away at him it hurt too much to see Bucky in such pain and discomfort. Just as I was about to get a water out of the vending machine, I heard my name be called out, it was fury he came up to me and then stopped when he looked through the glass and saw the patient that they were working on.  
"I'm sorry Fury," I say while looking down towards the ground, I only say this because I wasn't granted access to bring such a character into the ship but instead of yelling, Fury puts a hand on my shoulder.  
"He's a friend, I get it." I couldn't believe my ears, did I just hear the director of S.H.I.E.L.D tell me that I could have a man who has murdered millions of people over the years in our Heli-carrier. Yes, yes I did.  
I look up and see Natasha holding a hand over here mouth. Without even looking at us she motioned for us to come over towards her, I looked at her and she was drained of color she looks about ready to gag.  
Fury turned to me and said this," I need you to go on an important mission." I look at him with a look of disbelief Fury wants me to go on a mission while my heart and mind are here where my bestest friend is stuck in med-bay.  
"How important is it?" I say maybe a little tone in my voice.  
"In order to save your friend," He points to Bucky. "The mission is crucial." I thought about it and eventually agreed, I was sent away before I could say goodbye…And I was not happy about that.  
-

Nat's P.O.V  
Fury had left me and Sam in charge of Bucky because Steve had to go on some mission.  
I'm still looking through the window that leads to the operator's room, right now there trying the take the bullet that is lodged in Bucky's chest out of his body. Every time the doctors pick him I cringed, if Bucky hadn't been kept in a frozen prison for most of his life then in real life Bucky would only be a year older than Steve so really he's still pretty young, and even though Bucky was an enemy I still feel bad because I know what its like to have a bullet lodged into you, that must have hurt like hell for him since he's usually the one who does the shooting.  
Sam walked up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder.  
"You ready to take care of him?" Sam asks and then I look up to him.  
"No, I'm an ok nurse but I'm not your go to an emergency doctor, what if something horrendous happens then what do I do?" I say nervously because now that I think about it, what if something does happen on my watch that I can't fix what would I do?  
"You try your best to fix the problem and even at that if you can't fix it, banner's only one call away." He says and I smile for two reasons, hearing Bruce's name brings back amazing memory's of when we saved the world from Loki and the other reason is that they succeeded in taking the bullet out of Bucky's chest now there stitching him up. Thank god.  
Sam smiled too.  
"The question is, are you ready Sam?"  
"Yes, I learned how to take care of people at a young age and my time with Riley."  
"Good luck to us". We both say in unison.  
I heard rushing footsteps and looked to my left to see Bruce coming our way.  
Bruce waved and I waved back, Sam smiled at Bruce, "Oh I forgot to introduce you two, Sam this Bruce Banner and Bruce this is Sam." They shook hands and Bruce looks into the window.  
"I've only ever heard about you, banner, never actually had the pleasure to meet you," Sam says as he glances at Bucky then back at bruce.  
"Do you think I could scan him." I didn't know how to respond and the only thing that came out of my mouth was "..Sure.."  
all the nurses and doctors cleared the way when Banner came through with us following behind him.  
"Jarvis, run health scan on Mr. Barnes.  
"Yes, sir." Jarvis obeys the order. "Mr. Barnes has received severe injuries to the upper right-hand corner of his chest, and..." Jarvis's voice fades out leaving us hanging.  
"..And what else."  
"Virus detected."  
"Can you give me the symptoms." Bruce asks but Jarvis doesn't answer back.  
"Jarvis, what are the symptoms?"  
"I can't tell you," Jarvis says back.  
"And why is that?"  
"Because sir, the virus hasn't been yet introduced to mankind."  
"What do you mean?" I chime in.  
"The virus seems to be man made, and currently multiplying by the millions inside Mr. Barnes."  
"It look's to be some kind of unknown biological warfare, Dr. Banner I suggest you check his blood maybe your surrounding resources will be more helpful than I am," Jarvis suggested,  
"Excuse me doctor banner." One of the other doctors say.  
"Yes?"  
"If you need to see Mr. Barnes blood work I have his test results right here."  
"Well aren't you helpful." Sam chimes in.  
We all follow the doctor over to where he told us the results were.  
"I've been running some test on Mr. Barnes and I was beginning to notice that there was something affecting his cells." The doctor says as he adjusts the microscope he was looking into, he motions for Bruce to come and look at what he's looking at.  
"Jarvis is right it is man made, the bacteria has almost no natural features." Bruce pulls up what he's seeing on the microscope so we can all see.  
Bruce points out the bacterium among all of the other cells. I frown at how many germs there are in his bloodstream.  
"So do we know if this is going to be catastrophic as in a terminal virus, or is this just going to end up being cold."Sam asks and Bruce responds with, "Well generally biological warfare has the intent to kill or incapacitate a human, animal, or plant as an act of war, do we know if Bucky has any traces of the serum that Steve has in his system?" I shrug to this question but Sam seems to know the answer to it.  
"Yeah Steve says that Bucky has something like that in his system, why do you ask."  
"Because right there you can see that he is producing new cells and burning of the old, or infected ones. Which means that he may be healing faster then the bacteria can regenerate, you can already see an uninfected cell right there, but he may not have the same formula because it looks different than Steve's," He points at the cells on the screen.  
"Sam you said Bucky is an assassin for Hydra, right?"  
"Yes."  
"If the virus is truly from Hydra then we can't know exactly what the effects of the virus could be," Bruce says as I feel I prick in my side, I remembered that I still have that syringe in my pocket, I took it out and stared at it.  
"I think I may have something that could hopefully help us determine what the effects are." I pipe in as I hand it to Bruce, he grabs a new slide and pours the rest of the liquid/bacteria in the slide then he puts the slide under the microscope so we can see it.  
"It looks almost like malaria but there are differences, and also with Bucky's serum it may affect him as the stomach flu, still I can't make it out-" Bruce says as Jarvis interrupts him.  
"Dr. Banner, may I remind you that the syringe that Ms. Romanov gave you was found right next to Mr. Barnes, I have the recording of what happened and it looks like Mr. Barnes had been directly exposed to that syringe,"  
"What do you mean." Sam and I chime in.  
"What I mean Is that direct exposure to that much bacteria can be terminal, and I believe the correct term that you should be using is super virus because what he was exposed to is a super virus developed by Hydra."  
"I thought you said you didn't have enough information to tell us more about the virus." I say but Jarvis comes back with," I gathered that Intel from the recording."  
The room fills with an uncomfortable silence, and for the first time in a long time I began to have emotions, and I don't usually have emotions for our enemies but this is Steve's best friend and Steve would be so heart broken it wouldn't even be funny right now so someone has to have emotions.


	2. Cellular change

CH2

Bucky's P.O.V

 _When I woke up everything was glittery, lights were shined brightly into my view and everything was glimmering._  
 _I lifted up my left hand and saw the new attachment Hydra had added to me, there's no flesh just metal. Wow, a metal hand when did they invent this?_  
 _They can't even make flying cars so since when can they make metal into a hand?_  
 _There was a doctor standing next to me checking something off a clipboard. Ah, he must have done this to me, well time to see how this thing works, I think as I work the hand up to his neck and squeeze tightly until I feel his vocal chords snap, ah so that's how it works. I'm going to have some fun….Aren't I._  
 _(flash back 1)_  
 _"But he's been out of cryo for too long."_  
 _"Then wipe him and start over."_  
 _A Hydra agent walks over to me and pushes me down into the seat I was already in, he takes out a mouth guard and sticks it in, I'm helpless to what they're doing, I know what'll happen if I protest._  
 _Suddenly locks wrap around my arms and I start to breathe really heavy, I feel metal coming into contact with my head this is when I start to panic like there's no tomorrow, I grit my teeth as the pain comes In big bangs all across my head and into my brain, it hurts so badly._  
 _(flash back 2)_  
 _I'm hanging on for my life, I know that if I let go then I'll die._  
 _"Bucky hold on!" I hear Steve's voice but the train is rumbling by so fast that it's basically impossible to hear him, I try and grab his hand but the bar begin to break, the window was closed to grab onto Steve's hand and now the window is smashed and needs to be replaced. I'm screaming and falling Steve fades away and I hit the ground with a loud spinal cord crackling BANG! Losing my arm in the process of it all, I black out._  
 _(flash back 3)_  
 _"Bucky?" I turn to the sound of a voice, my head booms with the start of a headache_  
 _"Who the hell is Bucky?" I say but to hear myself say that name sends shivers down my spine. Before I knew what had happened two feet had landed harshly on my back and pushed me straight to the ground, I get up in a haste and stumble to my feet, something came to mind…._  
 _Bucky, Bucky, Bucky why does this sound familiar to me…._

I sprung up from my bed only to realize that I wasn't being tortured by Hydra or falling to my death OR meeting Steve for the first time since the fall, I look around and almost fell off my bed when I saw the Black Widow and the Falcon both staring me down.  
"...Holy...Shit…." I say breathlessly, the Widow's face softens and a frown sprawls across her face, yet I don't know why she's frowning.  
The Falcon clears his throat, "You tell him, I'm not looking forward to getting my throat ripped out." she lets out a sigh, and I start to hyperventilate.  
"Where...Where am I?" I yell as I start to heave deeply. The Widow frowns and her posture sag's a little.  
"you're at a recovery guest room in the stark tower, you were cleared from the hospital so we brought you here."  
"Why..."  
"Because you were shot in the chest, Captain Rogers insisted that you get the bullet taken out of your chest." She says while avoiding my eyesight.  
"And...Natasha, you're leaving something out..." The Falcon says just as a strong headache comes on.  
"So….When you passed out, I found a syringe next to you and I had Bruce, he's a doctor here, analyze it and we found out that it held a super-virus created by hydra…."  
"So what does this have to do with me, can't I leave now since I'm cleared-" I say but then I got cut off by a nasty sounding cough that Rattled in my chest when I was done, leading to more coughing, Natasha and Falcon ran to my side saying things like, "it's starting," and "we better call Bruce."  
"Guys I'm fine it was just a cough," I reassure them, they do back down and give me my space but they both have the same expression on their faces, wide eyes and chewing their bottom lips.  
"Bruce has found large amounts of the virus in your system." The Falcon says as he sits back down in his chair  
"Again can I leave because I have the super soldier serum in me so I won't get sick," I say while trying to assure myself that what I'm saying is true.  
"Yes this would be true on any other day but, unfortunately, you had direct exposure into the bloodstream, in other terms the exposure you had experienced is an overdose of the virus so we aren't sure if your serum is strong enough to handle it," Natasha says while continuing to chew on her lip, I felt my heart sink when a cold sweat came over me. No no no, this can't be happening to me. I think as Natasha continues. "Now if we were talking about Sam, he would be dead from that much exposure but your serum is reproducing new cells and burning off the infected one's so to you it may feel like a bad stomach flu but Bruce says because of the direct contact into the bloodstream it could kill you slower but he's unsure and just in case it does we are working on a cure for this." My heart sank a little more after she said this.  
"Me and Sam are going to take care of you until Steve get's back, he's on a mission but I know he'll want to see you cause he was glued to the glass watching you get surgery, Fury almost had to drag him away screaming and kicking." I smile at this, to know that even though I shot him over two times he still cares about me, makes me feel a tad bit better.


	3. Nightmare's On Barnes Street

ch.3

Nats P.O.V

I walk into the recovery room to find icy blue eyes overlooking me, he hadn't fallen asleep yet but for a sick person, he's awfully quiet it sort of scares me at how quiet he is he hasn't coughed, sneezed, or even threw up since he woke up.  
"You know that you are not wearing that muzzle anymore, you can talk, you don't have to be so quiet."  
"-Processing," He says quietly. Why does he talk quietly when I said he could talk. Honestly I feel out of place being Bucky's nurse, I don't have a good connection with Bucky since he shot me, Steve would be better at this because he knows Bucky like the back of his hand doesn't matter if Bucky remembers him or not Steve would rush to his side in the blink of an eye.  
"Just to clarify, you do know that I won't judge you if you need to cough or sneeze or throw up, it's fine really," I say while trying to break the ice again, he looks at me and his blue eyes seem to have a hint of irritation in them.  
"I know that." He growls. I sink deep into my chair. _I knew there would be a problem._  
A few hours later  
I scroll through my phone looking at old text messages because I was bored, Bucky turned onto his side so he faced away from me, apparently he was mad at me for talking to him but I get it if he wanted silence then that's what he's going to get.  
My attention perked when I heard the ruffle of sheets, I look up to see Bucky sitting up with his knees folded up to his chest he swaying back and forth.  
My instincts are telling me to go sit with him so I do.  
"...Hey, Bucky….how are you...feeling?" I ask awkwardly, he doesn't answer back so I peek my head down to his eye level which I feel like that is a bad idea, I hear him mumbling something inaudible but as soon as he catches my eyes he stops speaking and stares at me for a good five minutes, we sat in silence until his eyesight finally moved from my eyes to my stomach in particularly the spot where he shot me, I hadn't noticed before but he had been crying.  
"I'm so so sorry, none of this was intentionally meant." He whispers while burying his head in his arms while trying to stifle a couple sad sniffles, I can't think of anything else to do but rub his back gently, I've seen it on TV shows and they make it look relaxing so I gave it a shot.  
I could feel his back muscles relax when I did this but he continued to sob as quietly as he could, which for once was not quiet.  
"I've killed so many people, what is wrong with me I'm so dumb!" He says but his voice grows louder towards the end of this sentence.  
"Buck don't say that."  
But he keeps going  
"Hydra gave me this STUPID arm and made me into this STUPID weapon." He yells, his metal hand turns into a fist, I know for sure that I need to calm him down or else he could hurt someone he may be sick but that metal hand isn't affected by it.  
"Bucky..."  
"...Tried to make me kill Steve..." His voice was beginning to trail off which meant he was starting to fall asleep, maybe I wouldn't have to calm him down.  
But just when I thought he was falling asleep… he started up again.  
"I can't believe I worked with those stupid monsters, they say they want peace but all they really want is a massacre!" He let his face rest in his leg's, and his hands wrapped around the sheets, he was holding them as tightly as he could. I'm speechless.  
"I swear one of these days I will go there with a goddamn rocket launcher and shoot everyone who's left of those stupid bastards." When he said this a pang of guilt come over me, _I had forgotten about the virus for a second, he probably has a fever and that's making him think its just a cold or something, he's ignoring the fact that he's possibly dying and if banner doesn't finish that serum soon he could_ _die_ , _I can't imagine how Steve would feel if that happen..Scratch that yes I can, he would crumple to his knees while holding Bucky's hand and cry his eyes out, he would hear Bucky's heart flat line and that would be Steve's cue to shoot himself in the head so he could be in heaven with Bucky, but I would be there too, to hold Steve and give him comfort because that's what friends are for, wait why am I already planning on Bucky's death NATASHA! Focus on the matter at hand and comfort him duh!_ My conscience says so I do jut that and continue to rub his back, _I hope it's helping, please be helping_!  
My conscience was right, rubbing Bucky's back put him right to sleep. I returned to my chair and picked up my phone, as soon as it came on I had fifteen new messages from Steve:

"HOW'S BUCKY DOING!"  
"Stupid Cap LoCK"  
"White noise and rubbing his back and arms puts him to sleep."  
"How sick is he?"  
"Will he make it?"  
"Did they get they bullet out?"  
"Please take good care of him."  
"If he doesn't cooperate then tell him that you stick the thermometer up his butt, it'll shut him up and get him to do what you want him to."  
"Trust me I used to have to do it when Bucky got sick back in the 1900's."  
"He was a bad patient back then but maybe he changed."  
"What is it that is affecting him, banner sent me a text but I still don't understand what he means, the only thing I got was that buck's sick with a fever."  
"Is it robotic?"  
"No that would be too stupid for hydra….or would it?"  
"Please please please take good care of Bucky."  
"….He means a lot to me and I just can't bare to lose him again.."

And I reply with:  
"Its fine Steve, they got the bullet out, what Bucky has is some kind of biological warfare that's unheard of (sorry),we don't know if he'll be ok but banner's making a serum to help Bucky's immune system fight off the virus because the virus isn't human it barely has any natural features, it's not robotic (we think), me and Sam will take the best care of Bucky, we promise to keep him alive and when you get back he's all yours, he's not a bad patient, and he not that sick right now, in fact, he only sniffled once he hasn't even coughed, threw up, or sneezed since he got here. He's doing pretty well, for now, try not to worry Steve ok, good night."  
I sent the text and turn my phone off, I watched Bucky's chest rose up and down with every breath  
Pretty soon he was putting me to sleep but before I fell asleep I thought of this: _I made it through today and if I can just make it through tomorrow with Sam then maybe this won't be so bad._

Steve's P.O.V  
I walk the corner to the hydra facility and see two men standing around, I threw my shield to hit them both in the head, one is knocked out cold but I needed the other alive.  
I run over to him but he tries to run away, I take the others knife and threw it at his hand, _signature move_.  
I go over to him, this is where my mission begins.  
"Tell me everything you know about the alpha serum!" I shout at him, he squints in pain.  
"Man, I know nothing of that." I grin when he says this, I take the knife and dig it in a little more,"AHHH!" He screams out in pain.  
"You want to tell me now."  
"I'd rather die than tell you anything about that serum." When he says this I begin to lose my patients, then and image of Bucky comes to my mind, when he was shot with that stupid serum, I held him in my arms the image of his blood flashes through my mind, I've had enough of this.  
I take the knife out of his hand and plunge it into the vein of his hand, he screams even louder and I cover his mouth.  
"FINE, fine, I'll tell you."  
"Good." this type of violence isn't my style, I'm glad he gave in.  
"The serum is developed by hydra, its used when soldiers disobey our orders, or if they try to break away from our control, as a result we kill them off, hydra takes no prisoners and we take no traitors-." Suddenly out of nowhere the man gets shot, I look down and see the bullet hole in the floor, someone had to have amazing aim for that to succeed I thought as I ran towards the basement of the facility where I suspected the shooter to be.

 _ **Authors note: OMG I am so sorry that I haven't updated in forever I've been really busy but I have been writing the whole time, the flash story that I'm writing has three more chapters that I've already written, they just need to be edited and this one has a lot more chapters that I already wrote they will be updated tonight but I'm still not done with this story I think I have a couple more chapters to go so, yeah enjoy and sorry for the long wait I'll try to keep myself in check!**_


	4. WHERE IS BUCKY-Captain America

ch.4  
Steve's P.O.V

I don't know why but it feels like the empty halls were starting to close in on me, I swear I ran these halls before, I feel like this is a maze that never ends, all I had to do was complete this stupid mission and then I could go see Buck but right now I don't know if I will, in fact, I don't know much, I don't know where I am, I don't know why I keep running, and I especially don't know why I'm here. I should've stayed to watch Bucky, I should've ignored Fury's orders but I didn't and I don't know why, maybe it's just me being the good little soldier that I'm supposed to be as tony would put it but there was nothing in the world that would make me leave my best friend yet I did, and I feel stupid for doing it.  
I stop in my tracks and look around.  
Why in the hell would hydra paint ever single room to look exactly the same.  
Something smells fishy and I don't like it at all.  
I lean on the wall to take a breather when something breaks through the wall right next to me before I could run the thing grabbed me and pulled me straight through the walls.  
 _What. The. Hell_

Nat's P.O.V  
Sam came in to greet me with a beautiful smelling coffee around 9 o'clock in the morning, Bucky was still out like a light, he was probably going to need all the sleep he could get.

"don't you think it's weird?" Sam's whispers while nudging me a little.

"what do you mean?"

"James made a full recovery from the bullet that hit him in the chest, yet he is dying from the form of some unknown disease that he just contracted, isn't that weird, if he recovered from the bullet wound in less than a day just like Steve would have, why didn't he heal and I know about his cell difference and that it may be affecting him slower but why isn't he healing from this disease at least a little?

 _Huh, I hadn't thought of that before, damn Sam has a point_.

"that's true, your right that is weird," I say while sipping my morning survival juice.  
an awkward silence filled the air as Sam and I sat staring at Bucky.

"is it bad that I feel horrible for Bucky?" I ask quietly, Sam looks at me then scoff's.

"who wouldn't feel bad for him, he's losing his life at this age, for any other normal person that would suck big time, I mean look at him Natasha he's so young, if he were to join our team he would be the third youngest out of Steve and Wanda."

"wait, I thought that Bruce is making a cure for him so he won't die," I say, my head snapping back at Sam in the process.

"well Bruce….. he's trying very hard, I went to see him last night and he was working so hard that there were papers every where and Bruce is a pretty clean guy if I do say so myself." my heart calmed, at least Bruce was trying, _I wish he'd try harder…_

Steve's P.O.V

"WELL, well, well, look who it is, Captain Freaking Freedom, oh did you come here help your friend." The man says as he starts beating me senseless with the butt of his gun, but I kind of let him because _I was going to do this!_  
The man stopped to take a breather and I hit him a good one in the face making the gun fly across the room, I got on top of the man and beat him around jut like he did to me.  
"Where-is-the-serum," I say while continually punching him.  
"I'm not telling you!"  
I punch him for about 10 more minutes then I stop.  
"Awe look at you fighting for your friend's life, that's so cute, but you can't help him."  
"YES, I CAN," I scream as I bring him up to my chin, his face is splattered with blood specs.  
"No...you can't he's too far gone..."  
"SHUT UP!" I shout at him, I know I can save Bucky, **I don't have a choice**.  
"NO!, you and I both know that the asset is beyond saving."  
I got on top of him and punch every part of his body.  
"You better stop talking," I growl at him but he keeps talking.  
"No."  
"YES!"  
I grabbed the gun and aimed it at him.  
"How do I cure him, TELL ME!" I roared at the guy, ** _I was just so angry_**!  
""You know why you're beating me up?"  
 _I swear he's just making my anger burn more._  
"Oh, PLEASE humor me!"  
"It's because you know that you can't save your friend, hurts doesn't it?"  
"I'll kill you if you don't stop talking." My voice begins to shake, but I'm dead serious, if he mentions Buck one more time I might kill him.  
"It kills you that you're losing your only friend, _best_ friends am I right? wasn't he your only living war buddy, too bad, cause we fried his brain over a dozen times but he just kept remembering."  
"You shut your mouth, _**NOW**_!"  
"You know what, we did this to him, we implant a pinch of the serum into every soldier and all they need is a little buzz to activate it, there's nothing you can do captain like I said he's too far go-"  
 ** _"BANG!"_**  
"I told you I would shoot you if you didn't stop talking about him and I wasn't lying."  
"CAPTAIN WHAT DID YOU DO, killing that guy wasn't the mission."Fury screams in my ear but I ignore him, I bend down and search the guy for any clues, I finally found something it was a note saying that "If you are specialized in scientific please come to the control room."  
"Fury I think I know where to go to help Bucky," I say into my com.  
"What about the serum that was the whole point of the mission!"  
"..And the serum."

Sam's P.O.V

The kid woke up about a half hour ago sweating bullets as predicted, his temperatures at an unsettling 102.5 degrees and its literally killing Natasha that she can't do anything about it because no source of any modern day medicine is going to fix whatever is physically eliminating Buck, and what sucks even more is that me and Natasha have to stand by while watching Bucky fade before our eyes, oh and I got the news from some agents that Cap went on a killing spree while on a mission, either Cap is really broken up about Buck, or some Hydra agent knew too much about buck and triggered Steve's alarm.  
I've learned the hard way not to ever trigger steves alarm or some serious war like shit will be raining down on you.  
"SAM!" Natasha call's me out of my daze, she points to Bucky who's currently throwing up, the way the kids face looks is just heart-wrenching, his expression is filled with pain and sickness, I've never seen a grown man cry as badly as Bucky is right now, I feel bad fro him because he probably hasn't thrown up in what… seventy years and now here he is, vomiting for his first time in a long time, I would be crying to….  
Natasha's trying to comfort him by rubbing circles on his back, which looks like working, because he finally stopped throwing up and fell asleep in Natasha's arms, I almost took a picture because it was so cute, I've never seen Natasha care for someone they way she cared for Bucky.  
"He looks even younger when he's asleep," Natasha whispers as she gently lies him down on his bed  
"Yeah if you gave him a haircut he might just look twelve also."  
We sat in silence for a while until both our phones beeped, it was a text from Steve saying:  
"I'm back from my mission, WHERE. IS. BUCKY!"  
I glanced at Bucky then Natasha, I knew we were thinking the same thing, we both raced out the door thinking Bucky will be fine we will only be gone for a minute..little did we a know a lot could happen in sixty seconds.

Bucks point of view  
When I wake up I feel drained of strength but I notice that no one is here, maybe this is my chance to escape, I muster up all the energy I have left and run out to the hall, looking around to make sure no one is here I run down the hallway leading to the elevator at full speed (Well full speed for a sick person) But something stops me when I'm a few feet away from the elevator. I fall to my knees, feeling completely out of it, I hear a voice coming out for me, _suddenly I see Steve, his body frame is small and weak he almost looks twelve and not buff at all, in fact, it looks like he hasn't worked out in 79 years. Then I understand what I'm seeing, I'm seeing Steve before the serum upgrade, I look down only to realize I'm back under hydra's control, holding a knife and a shotgun, I look to the side and see Sarah Steves mother and she's...dead? Did I kill her?_  
 _I hear her soft cries for Steve, telling him everything will be fine._  
 _I want to talk to Steve and his mother, to apologize but I can't, I just can't, the thought of killing Steve's beautiful mother is haunting me so bad I can't talk._  
 _Steve looks at me with the most horrific look I've ever seen, it frightens me that the number of tears rolling off his face is scaring me, even when he was sick back in the 1900's he never cried just complained, this would be my first time seeing him do a such a thing, he gets up weakly and walks over to me, I can see that the tears are washed away by anger._  
 _"YOU DID THIS!" he growls at me as his little fragile hands turn into fists, I knew I was in trouble and for some reason, I felt fear._  
 _I gently take my muzzle off because of I'm still in shock from learning I killed Sarah, and as soon as I did so Steve looks like he's been hit with a rock. Before I could get anything else out of my mouth Steve runs at me and hugs me._  
 _"Steve, Steve I'm so sorry…" I say while still in the embrace, Then out of nowhere a pain strikes me in the stomach and I'm not talking about an itty bitty cramp I'm talking about a bullet going through my stomach kind of pain, I slide out of Steves' arms and fall to the ground as I fell I saw the smoke coming out of the gun Steve was holding, I began choking on my blood that's Currently filling my throat._  
 _"You're not Bucky, you're a monster and you're going to hell you stupid hydra assassin!" Steve says as Black spots began to dance around my vision_ , the last thing I heard was Steve calling out my name, and my weight being lifted off the cool tile floor of the tower. Wait but if Steve had killed me why is he trying to save me?

 _ **Authors Note: "IM BACK BABY"- Castiel, ok I'm back with more chapter's and as promised tomorrow I will update that flash story FINALLY!**_


	5. Penguins In The Bathroom

When I came to Steve, was sitting next to me, a look of sadness was plastered on his face, he looked like he was a beaten puppy dog and the dog just found out that it was going to be put to sleep.

"Bucky?" Steve says as he sits up a little, he looks happy now and I bet he feels great that we are reunited, but I don't, I would If I didn't feel like absolute crap and plus our "relationship" has gauges and wounds that need to be tended to, I mean how can he still care for me when I shot him like what?…. Three..four times already, I almost killed Sam and Natasha, two of his closest friends and yet he stills cares for me like I used to care for him.

He kneels down and pats my shoulder, "Hey champ, boy am I glad to see you." Steve whispers.

"How can you be I ruined your life?" I murmured in a small voice so he wouldn't hear me but Steve being Steve with his super amped up ears obviously heard me.

"What do you mean?" Steve cocks his head when he says this.

"correct me if I'm wrong b-but did I-I kill y-your m-mother?"

"No, why would you think that Bucky she died of a sickness," Steve whispers as he rubs my arm in an up and down motion, he's trying to make me feel better. Really.

"Well I remember her calling to you while she was dying, and then you just got so mad and you called me a monster and told me that I would go to hell for what I did to you, and then you shot me and-" Steve listened real good while I was giving him a reason to hate me but he stopped me short after I said "shot me", he put his hand down on my forehead, for some reason I leaned into his palm, the coolness of his hand made me feel sleepy but almost in an abrupt way he removed his hand.

"Bucky I just carried you from the corridor back to your room, because you had passed out, I don't know what you were doing out of bed but when I got to you, you were saying everything that you just told me, and you were pleading to me that you were sorry."

"Wait that was a dream?" I say as relief sweeps over me, _oh thank god_.

"Yes Buck, you have such a high fever that you get these dreams called fever dreams or hallucinations like you might see a pencil get up, sprout legs and walk across the room. I hated them, sometimes they make you see stuff you don't want to see and it sucks." Steve says as he sits back down in his chair.

I would've kept arguing with Steve about how I ruined his life but sickness was overtaking me.

"Steve I'm tired." I quavered as I sank down into the soft blankets, Steve ran his fingers through my hair, which was making me even more tired but I know Steve's methods and that was his way of getting me to sleep, it was working.

" I know Bucky, you can go to sleep, I'm right here, no one's going to get you, your safe."

"Thanks, St-Steve…." My eyelids became heavy and I was asleep within minutes.

That was the first time in a long time that I actually got a good nights sleep and it was all because Steve was by my side, I guess we really do have a bond.

Steve's P.O.V

Sitting here watching Bucky sleep like a baby puts my mind at peace because this is what I wanted. To be with my best friend in his not so final moments which now might be final but then why does it feel wrong, I think to myself , just sitting here, waiting, I really have nothing to do so I think and then my mind wandered to something I didn't want to remember…..

 _"I'm not going to fight you, you're my friend," I say as I dropped my shield._

 _All of a sudden Bucky runs at me and pushes me to the ground._

 _"You're my mission!" He yells as he starts punching me vigorously, between each punch he yells, "YOUR. MY. MISSION"_

 _He stopped for a minute and I knew exactly what to say no matter how much pain I was in._

 _"Then finish it, cause- I'm with you till- the end of the line." I didn't expect something to change in Bucky's behavior but it did, he looked horrified and scared, like every memory he's lost was just crammed back into his brain._

 _Suddenly I'm falling from the Heli-carrier and splashing into the water. The last thing I saw was Bucky hanging on by a thread to the Heli- carrier._

"Steve!"

"Steve!" finally I got pulled back to reality when Bucky called my name.

"What?!, What?!" I say as I jolt up, to see Bucky crying, I thought he was sound asleep ad the I looked at the time, it was 3:00 in the morning and Bucky had fallen asleep at 5:00 last night.

"What's the matter, Buck?" I ask as I go over and sit on the bed with him.

He sniffles, "It hurts"

"What hurts?"

"My stomach. Ugh, _What did I ea_ t?" He cry's out as he clutches his stomach harder than before, My instinct hit me hard because I knew what was going to happen to Bucky in less than a minute, it used to happen to me all the time except I knew when it was coming. Bucky doesn't.

"It's not what you ate," I say while picking him up.

"What? -Where are we going?" He croaks out while coughing.

"The bathroom."

"Why?-" He says as he coughs more, I set him down on the floor in front of the toilet, he looks at me with a confused face.

"You'll thank me later Buck." He cocks an eyebrow as he continues to cough and hold his stomach minutes later he's throwing up just as I expected, I'm really glad that I brought him into the bathroom because if I hadn't then he wouldn't have made it to the bathroom and I would've ended up wearing his lunch.

"T-thank Y-you..." He whispers as he leans against the wall.

"Your welcome," I say as I slid down in front of him, I remove the hair from his sweat covered face, he looks awful, his face is white as a sheet his eyes are glazed over and blood shot and his cough's sound awful.

I put my hand up to his forehead to feel if his fever had gotten worse but only to quickly draw my hand away at the feel of the heat radiating off him.

Bucky's P.O.V

Literally, everything hurts right now, especially my stomach that hurts the most besides that my head hurts, my muscles hurt, and my neck hurts.

Steve tries to calm me down but it just gets me worked up again which makes me throw up, hours later I'm still doing the same thing. Throwing up.

But I've (and not to be graphic) thrown up pretty much everything, so all that is coming out is stomach acid, and the pain is traumatizing me.

Hot Tears are burning down my face, I pull myself away from the porcelain throne as I have been doing every time I think I'm done being sick, always going back to throw up again .

I'm still kneeling when I feel Steve's warm hands come under me to help me off the floor, he pulls me up and sits me down yet again leaning on the wall of the bathtub, _I like to think that the wall of the bathtub is cooled because little penguins (who are unseeable from the human eye) from Antarctica come and bring coolers of ice, then they lay the ice up against they wall so it's cold, just for me!_

I told Steve this, and he thought that I thought this only because I have a high fever, totally doubt him, though. I just have an active imagination… _holy shit what has happened to me, when did I become like this?!_

I groan out in pain as I hold my stomach, like I have been doing every hour for the past five hours, my world is spinning as I try to hold on, harder and harder but nothing works, why would anything work because nothing can go my way. Not ever.

My breath becomes ragged as the stabbing continues.

All of a sudden Steve picks up both my hands and looks me dead in the eyes which are welled with tears.

"Bucky listen to me, you cannot let this virus get the best of you, god you've been through hell and you can make it out of this-" I return his gaze with hard eyes, I'm trying to listen very careful but with a headache and a stomach that feels like its about to explode, it's very hard to listen.

"Ok, you can do this, show hydra that you are stronger than them, then this, you just got to hold on."

"Ok, I-i can do that." I panted out, as I tried to regain my strength, it would be hard but I think I can do what Steve is asking.

"Bruce is almost done with the serum alright Buck, you just need to hold out two or three days more and you'll be cured, then we can go kick hydra's ass for this ok?" He cooed as he rubs my shoulder

"You're going to be okay Bucky, trust me-"Steve smiled gently as a loud knock comes from the other room, I let my head fall to the wall behind me as the sound rings through my ears, leaving me to not be able to hear Steve.

Once I regain my hearing, I catch Steve saying "I'll be right back ok? I think someone is at the door."

Steve walks out the door and I'm left all by myself.

As I pull my legs up to my chest I found that I've begun talking to myself, to keep my emotions in a calm state.

"It's ok Buck, everything's going to be fine, it will only take a minute, Steve will be right back, just try to stay calm."

This worked until the amount of pain that was bubbling in my stomach had decided to increase.

This was the moment _I lost my shit._

I tried to suppress the feeling by holding my stomach so tightly that it hurts my arms but that doesn't work either, so then I try to make myself become numb to the pain, that doesn't work either. I didn't think it would, I had just run out of ideas to make that pain go away.

My breath starts to come out at a more fast and elevated pace than before, everything's spinning and as I lean my head on my knees I feel something rip apart inside of me, leading to a surprising yelp coming from me.

I began to panic like no tomorrow.

"Steve" I cried out but it only came out as a whisper.

I tried again.

"STEVE!" I screamed and it actually came out as a blood curtailing scream.

I screamed bloody murder as I felt my intestines completely collapse inside of me.

Five mutes earlier

Tony's P.O.V

My foot tap's impatient as I wait for someone to answer the door, to my surprise it's Steve. this isn't his room, _why is he in here?_

He sigh's, "Hey Tony.."

"Why good morning to you too, Steve," I say as I invite myself in.

"Say, can you explain to me why Bruce has me running in circles picking up all these random things from different places, he says he's making a cure for something but every time I ask him what it is he says "it's a cure for your stupidity, Tony."

"...I-I don't know Tony," Steve says as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Let's just say I didn't get enough sleep last night."

"Late night mission?" I say as I nudge him a little, "We've all been there Stevie."

"Sure we can say that."

I cock an eyebrow at him, I was going to question him more but I got cut off by a scream.

I look at Steve, he looks like he just shit himself.

"Was that you?"

"….Yes?" His voice is high when he says this meaning he trying to lie to me.

"Are you- AHHHHHH, STEVE!" Again I got cut off by another scream, this one was even louder than the first.

Steve's face softens.

"Stay here!" he strictly says to me as he runs off into the bathroom where the sound was coming from, I slowly followed behind him.

Steve entered the bathroom and closed the door, I waited a couple minutes then I cracked the door, I was not pleased with what I saw: The Winter Soldier was in _my bathroom_ , his leg propped up to his chest while holding his stomach, and _crying_?

 _Wait what?_

"Bucky everything's going to be okay, take deep breaths."

"-I-can't-Steve-'

"Yes, you can listen to me, breathe in."

Bucky took a deep harsh breath.

"Now breathe out.'

Bucky breathed out.

"Now repeat that cycle.

And Bucky did so.

 _What is wrong with him?_

"Tell me what happened Buck." Steve says while rubbing Bucky's arm.

"Y-you left and for a minute or so I felt fine and then I felt something collapse inside me, I tried to call your name for help but it only came out as a whisper, so I tried again and it came out as a very loud scream, I'm sorry," Bucky says as he looks up at Steve with glossy eye's, the kind a feverish person would have.

"No don't be sorry, do you feel better?"

"A little...But not by much."

"You like really tired, bud."

"I feel really tired Steve."

"Let's get you to bed," Steve says as Bucky looks up to Steve with sorrow, tears filling his eye's.

"Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"I-i can't, I'm too weak." Steve just frowned and pulled him up, Bucky was right he truly was too weak, because he couldn't pull himself up, so Steve had to pick him up bridal style and carry him back to the bed, I moved out of the way so he wouldn't run me over, Steve glared at me as he walked by.

I no longer was upset that we were harboring a villain, this is Steve's best friend beside me.

Steve set him down on the bed and pulled the covers over him, then walked back over to me.

"I'm guessing that the cure is for him," I say as I point at Bucky.

"Yes, it is..."

"What's wrong with him?"

"Hydra got a hold of him, they tried to make him kill me again but he didn't want to so they decided to give him a slow death by killing him off with a virus for disobeying them . Bruce is trying to make a cure that is why you're running in circles, I'm sorry tony, just he means a lot to me."

" I know, it's fine I just wanted to know the reason why I was running around picking up all these things when I have no clue what they are for," I say as I pat Steve's shoulder.

Steve looks absolutely crushed, he knows his best friend is dying and it's probably eating him up inside.

Steve starts to tear up.

"They shot him with a literal bullet just to get him weak enough to be able to give him a pinch of that stupid serum. It got lodged in his chest tony, he almost died and I wasn't even there to say goodbye if he had." I felt something inside me change as I watched my best friend cry. The old me would've laughed at him and told him to man up, but I just don't feel like it today.

"Steve it'll be ok. Me and Bruce will work extra hard to try to finish the cure for him, don't worry he'll be ok," I whisper as I look at Steve, he gives me a gentle smile as he turns back to look at Bucky, who's sleeping like a rock.

I looked at the kid and noticed something, there is a huge red dot on his neck.

"What's this?" I say as I get up and point to Bucky's neck.

 _Steve look's at me like I'm the dumbest person on this planet_.

I sigh, "The red dot on his neck is what I'm talking about."

Steve follow's me over to Bucky so we both can see what's going on here.

Steve gently move's Bucky's neck to the side so we can get a better view of the mark on bucky's neck.

"What is that?" Steve question's as he cock's his head sideways.

"Looks like and injection mark, syringe maybe?"

"Natasha found one of those near his neck, in that particular spot, so I guess we know where the hydra agents stabbed him," Steve says as he points to the mark but his hand skimmed bucks neck by accident and Bucky immediately yelped out in pain, me and Steve jumped when Bucky woke up screaming.

"Bucky did that hurt?' I gave Steve a look when he asked that, _Duh that hurt him, he just woke up screaming in pain._

"Yes..."

"Oh, jeez," I say as Steve pulls me aside.

"What are we going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Tony I think he's on his way out, he's not doing to good and I think his fever went up." Steve puts in as he looks back at his injured friend.

"Steve he's a tough kid, he'll make it through this trust me."

Steve snaps his head back at me when I say this.

"Yeah, but how do you know that everyone has a breaking point and I think his already broke. He's worrying me, Tony, he's even been crying a lot, I never saw him cry back in the 1940's."

"That's true I don't know that for sure but Steve you got to have faith in him, I'm sure that if he didn't want to survive this he would've put a bullet in his brain already. The kid's obviously a fighter, I don't think he's going to give up." I say as I pat Steve's shoulder.

"I'm going to eat lunch, you should do the same you look famished." Steve just turns his head the other way.

"Thank you, Tony."

"Welcome, Capsicle."


	6. Hallucinations Make Me Giggle

I sat on the bed and ran my fingers through Bucky's hair, he was tossing and turning sleeplessly like he was stuck in a nightmare, I cried a lot that day. I knew I was losing Bucky just like I had lost most things in my life, and I can't do anything to help him, _maybe that guy at hydra was right maybe he is too far gone_...but I can't believe that not now, I won't give up yet. The only people who are helping him are Tony and Bruce which I'm very thankful for I just wish he had killed me, none of this would've happened if I had just let him do his mission. This is all my fault.

Later that day Bucky started having serious hallucinations, for instance, he would start talking to people that weren't there or he would laugh at something then say "Your so funny!" I eventually had to check his temperature and when I did so he wouldn't let me.

"Bucky open your mouth, now!"

"NO"

"YES!"

"Come on don't be difficult, the sooner we get this done the sooner you can go back to sleep."

"I DON'T WANT TO MOM!"

 _Great, he thinks I'm his mother now._

"Too bad, I'm not asking I'm telling."

"BUT MO-" before he could even finish I stuck the thermometer in his mouth, his facial features tighten.

"You bite that I swear to god I'll grab your pearly whites and hold them open."

I finally got him to cooperate but when the thermometer beeped and I took it out I saw that his temperature had risen to 105.3 degrees _which was not ok_. But I couldn't do anything to bring it down because cold and flu medicines will make him feel 100 times worse if this virus is controlled by hydra.

But anyways I grabbed a rag, put it under cold water and covered Bucks forehead with it. When I did this Bucky giggled, "That tickles" He laughs.

I sit down on his bed and tap my fingers on his metal arm, Hoping to wake him out of his trance. "Do you feel any better Bucky, at all?" I waited for his response but in return I got Bucky snapping his head to the right, "Why would you say that you're going to hurt his feelings." He whispers while talking to someone who is definitely not me, then he giggled again as if someone had said something funny, but no one did.

I sigh as I sit back down in my seat. I listened for a while to Bucky's conversations most of them were just plain weird. He would laugh and talk to random people who weren't in the room with us so of course, It would be weird but one conversation really caught my attention.

"Leave. Me. Alone!" He sneers like an invisible figure is coming for him. "NO GO AWAY!"

There's a long pause and then I hear Bucky whisper " But I didn't do anything wrong." Then he shuts his eyes tightly as if someone was hurting him.

"NO!"

"STOP!"

He began to squirm around but almost subsequently he completely stopped moving .

He stopped talking for awhile after that, he must've fallen asleep. I thought to myself but I soon realized that Bucky was having another encounter with a nightmare even though he wasn't speaking I knew, by the way, his face scrunched up. I also knew NOT to wake Bucky up when he was having a nightmare, _I had to learn the hard way several times back in the 1940's_ But when Bucky started yelling and his body started to move along with his head that was snapping every which way, I knew I had to wake him up. I shake his shoulder a little and in an instant Bucky's metal arm is wrapped around my throat, I was thrown into the door in less than a second.

Soon after Bucky realized what he's done. He weakly runs as fast as he can over to me. "Steve! oh gosh, oh gosh, I'm so so sorry, I thought you-"

"You thought I was a hydra agent didn't you," I say as I dust myself off

he nods.

"I'm really sorry Steve." he gulped as he bows his head in shame.

I hug him.

"Don't be sorry Bucky, it was self-defense." I feel his head move in an up and down motion; meaning he's either saying "Thank you" or "I know."

We stayed like that for awhile, and I could tell he really needed a hug. I started to hear soft snores and I knew Bucky was asleep.

I lay him down in his bed when something came to mind, _it only happened every once in a blue moon that Bucky would EVER get sick but when he did the only way you could get the guy to sleep peacefully throughout the whole night was to give him a massage on his arms and back._

So I did just that, I noticed that when I began to massage him that his muscles tensed up but then he must've figured out what I was doing because I swear I saw a smile flash across his face.


	7. Dead Men Stay Dead

Bucky's P.O.V

The next day was worse than any other day had been, I felt completely miserable. I don't know what Natasha was thinking but this isn't any stomach flu that I've heard of. The worst thing about this virus is that sometimes I'm hot then next I'm freezing cold, whatever this thing is it needs to pick a side cause I getting pretty tired of having to take the sheets off then put them back on again when I already feel too weak to move.

The next worst thing is that since I've been having to barf every hour I have to eat or as Steve says "You could die if you don't eat." this sucks because Steve knows that I can't keep anything down yet he still makes me eat, well today I really didn't want to expel everything again and Steve was trying to make me eat.

"Steve, I don't want to throw up again I'm not eating that toast for God sakes."

"Yes you will or I'll force feed you." Steve crosses his arms, and I roll my eyes.

"Oh please, you wouldn't do that."

"DO NOT test me, I've had to do it to you before and I'll do it again if I have to."

"I. WILL. NOT. EAT. THAT. BREAD!"

"OK! Fine just go back to sleep I'll feed you later."

"Really?"

"Yep," He says as I turn over and fall asleep.

Suddenly I felt Steve open my mouth.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me." I try to say as he tries to feed me, come to find out that Steve tied my hands behind my back so I couldn't make him stop.

"You're insane!" I yell as I slowly chew the bread, Steve unties my hands and I shake them out.

"That's pretty true… when it comes to making sure that my best friend doesn't die, plus this is payback for all the times that you did that to me," He says as he smirks.

"I swear if I have to spend another hour expelling what you made me eat I'll punch you," I say as I swallow my last piece of toast.

"Oh I hope you do, it'll tickle though so if you hear me laugh then you'll know it tickles." Steve's smirk grows bigger.

" You're not funny," I whisper as I frown.

"I'm sorry buck but you know that you have to eat, you can't run on empty."

"I know but I hate being stuck in that bathroom every hour, what's the point of feeding me if I'm going to throw up."

"Bruce will be done with the cure by the end of tomorrow I texted him earlier while you were sleeping so if you can handle this for a little bit longer then you'll be able to make it out of this alive." This actually made me feel a lot better. I don't know why it did, _I wasn't going to die anyways._

I was happy for an hour or so until I started to feel nauseous again.

"Steve, I don't feel too good." I fretted that Steve wouldn't pick up on what I was trying to tell him but he did, I felt guilty a lot of the time now because Steve always has to literally pick me up, I way to weak to walk on my own and I know that Steve doesn't have time to deal with my stubbornness, cause I could keep that up forever and well Steve just knows that " he's about to throw up and he doesn't know it so I got to get my ass moving."

I felt so nauseous but I couldn't throw up, nothing was coming leaving me to dry heave I really did think I was going throw up so I was cautious to leave the bathroom, but after an hour of waiting Steve was getting impatient.

"I don't think you're going to throw up, but I'll keep a trash can by your bed in case you need it ok?'

I nod, while trying to pull myself up in the process which I forgot I wasn't supposed to do that, I immediately regret that decision because I was seeing black spots again, I tried my best not to pass out but I couldn't. I almost hit the ground but Steve caught me, it actually hurt because he caught me so fast and I wasn't prepared to feel sudden arms under mine. I did end up passing out though and before I did I heard Steve say, "Jesus Buck you can't do that on me, you almost gave me a heart attack."

A couple hours later…

I slowly open my eyes to see Steve sleeping in his chair, he must've carried me back from the bathroom because I'm lying in bed instead of lying on the bathroom floor.

I look around the room only to realize that something definitely feels out of place, my eyes scan around the room twice and the third time I did that I figured out why the room felt that way.

"….No…..your d-dead."

"You and I both know, that dead thing's….don't stay dead." Alexander pierce says as he walks around the bed and stared at me.

"Stay the hell away from me!" I ordered as he smirks evilly.

"Why because you think you're contagious or because I'm the man that made your life a living hell." He snickers.

My heart rate starts to speed up but I refused to answer him.

"I got a question for you, do you feel safe here, do you feel like everyone likes you, and do you feel cared for here?"

I nod but I don't look at him, I don't want to believe he's real and alive but apart of me is already doing that.

"Well to answer that question I guess I'll have to share my knowledge, first of all, your nowhere near safe in this building, I have hydra agents everywhere to make sure that you stay dead when you go."

I immediately look up to him when he says this, no one told me I was going to die, I thought I was going to live either way.

"I'm not going to die."

he points to my forehead, "You see deep down you know that you've been told that many times but that glorious fever of yours makes you forget that you are dying."

I'm trying to not cry right now.

"Oh and if you think Natasha, Sam, or Steve even like you a little, then boy you are sadly mistaken. They hate you for the sorrow that you've caused them and this earth, Natasha despises you because you tried to kill her multiple times, Sam hates because of the things you've done to this planet and also because you pushed him off an aircraft without his bird wings, and last off all Steve hates you the most because guess what soldier you really did kill his mother and Steve knows it too but he won't tell you that , he also hates you because you hurt him and his friends. To everyone in the universe you're a friggin _monster_ that they pray to god they'll never see and to these people in this building they all hope you die because finally, it'll bring justice to this world."

"They don't care for you. they hate you, they may act like it but it's just an act you know."

I couldn't hold it back anymore, I bawled my eyes out, nobody ever told me how hated I was. They always kept it hush, but to find out that I'm going to die and that everyone in this building wants me dead including the people who I thought were my friends, that hurt's the most. All the crying was making my stomach and head hurt but I didn't care. Now that I know all that I hope I die so I don't have to be in a place where I'm hated.

Steve's P.O.V

I was beginning to hear a crying sound so I immediately woke up, I saw that Bucky was holding his head saying

"Make it stop, please just make it stop."

I go to sit next to him but he moves as far away from me as he can.

"Stop acting." He whispers while looking at me through his hands that are covering his face.

"What do you mean?"

"Tell every one of your friends to stop acting like they like me because they obviously want me dead and Steve couldn't you have just told me that I killed your mother it would've made this a lot easier."

"Bucky STOP! For the fifteenth time you did NOT kill my mother she died of a sickness OK?, you weren't even there when she died, I don't know what is making you think you did that but whatever it is, it couldn't be more wrong, and excuse me yes my friends disliked you at one point but that was when you weren't in your right mind, and they didn't hate you at that time either in fact they encouraged me to find you because they knew that it wasn't you who killed all those people. And they don't want you dead at all everyone is trying to help you not hurt you, I'd kill 'em if they were, Bucky nobody in this building hates or wants to kill you purposefully. None of this is an act we all care for you."

"What I don't understand is why you play this part of caring so hard for me when you despise me," Bucky says as he cries harder, my message didn't get through to him.

"Damnit Bucky STOP IT! Who is telling you all this because it sure as hell is wrong, I. DON'T. HATE. YOU. Bucky I'm trying to help you not kill you, that's why I made you eat, that's why I made Bruce develop a cure for you. No actually, he was going to do that anyways, but Bucky we all care for you so please stop saying that we don't because it's not true. Sam even told me that Natasha cradled you until you fell asleep, do you remember that?"

He nods.

Then in a flash he collapsed onto me, I hold him close as he cries and cries.

"Now who told you all that," I whisper gently to him

"Alexander Pierce."

"Y-you don't believe me do you because he's dead?" He sniffles in between his words.

"No I believe you saw him, but he is dead, it's your hallucinations buck they are getting worse." I feel his grip tighten on me.

"You want to lie down or do you think you're rested enough."

"I'm tired can I lie down." He shivered as I let go of him, I nod then I help him get under the blankets but just as I was about to slid out of his bed to go sit back down something cold grabbed my hand. It was Bucky's metal arm.

"Can you lay with me? I don't want to be alone tonight." he begs and I can even see it in his eyes too, I crawl into bed with Bucky and let him slid under my arm, "Thank you." He mumbles and I reply back with "Your welcome, you are cared for Buck, always know that ok?"

I feel him nod and I didn't say anything else because I knew my tired boy was sound asleep.

 **Authors note: Hey everyone, so this next chapter is going to get a little bloody so if you are squimish at the mentions of blood I would suggest not to continue reading, but it's up to you guys and girls. By the way sorry for the long wait on the Flash story if you're reading that I have all the chapters written out I just need to edit them! Enjoy!**


	8. Death Took Him By Surprise

Steve's P.O.V

I knew that Bucky slept exceedingly well last night because I was with him, he didn't move at all nor did he scream from any dreams, but as he slept I could hear that his breathing went from normal to wheezing, like almost a squeaking sound coming from his throat.

Bucky woke up a little while later but he never moved from the spot I had left him in when I got up to go to the bathroom, most of the time he was fully awake but now whenever I try to talk to him he's unresponsive, the only noise he makes is the squeaking sound that he'll produce when he breathes.

I was starting to realize that something was terribly wrong, well more than usual. I realized this when Bucky's skin tone grew pale and darker. Inside I was freaking out but on the outside, I tried to remain calm.

Bucky barely moved for the rest of that day he just stayed in bed while I sat and played with my thumbs, then I thought I would look up signs of death on the internet just to check.

I read that "During that last few hours of your loved one's life, their skin may grow darker and grayish, that their temperature may go down in their hands and feet because of the loss of blood flow, that your loved one may see illusions, hallucinations, or persecutions." It also says that "They may confuse reality with fantasy and that when they are hours away from death their breathing changes from a normal rate to a rhythm of several rapid breaths which are followed by no breathing at all and also because of the fluid build-up in their lungs it says that the sound may be distressing to care, takers". The last thing I read was that "Your loved one may be fully awake or totally unresponsive."

 _I dropped the phone._

My eyes moved to Bucky who still wasn't moving.

 _My heart rate was speeding up…_

 _Why is this happening to me?_

I walked over to Bucky and grabbed a hold of his hand, which was cold.

"Please don't die, Bucky I know you can fight this please I'm begging you please." I silently cry as I lean my head on the bed.

Almost magically I feel bucks hand tighten its grip on mine.

"-Steve-" Bucky groans as he coughs, I cringe at the sound of it, that site was right the sound of it is distressing to me, it sounded wet and thick like his cough was coated with blood.

I quickly look up, Bucky was staring right at me, his eyes are coated with popped blood vessel that burst when he spent a day throwing up.

I want to hug him but I'm afraid he'll shatter into a million pieces because of how sick and fragile he is.

"Steve, I want you to do something for me ok it's my wish-" He coughs more this time his chest moves with him.

"Yes?"

"-I want- you to go- to the base where there are controlling this virus from ok- and I want you to blow the bastards to hell." The coughs continue but more frequently, cutting him off every five seconds.

"Ok I'll do that, but you're not going to die right?"

He never answered that, he went back into his unresponsive state.

I paced around for hours texting Bruce telling him that he needs to hurry up because bucks nearing death, all bruce said was that "He would be done in an hour and to make sure Bucky doesn't fall asleep or he's dead meat."

I went over to Bucky to make sure he wasn't asleep thank god he wasn't because I would've been too scared to wake him up.

I realized that Bucky was dying the same way my mother had, and then I realized something else, hydra wasn't punishing Bucky they were punishing me, Bucky was the last thing on this earth that was a reminder of my old life, he is my true best friend and hydra figured that instead of killing me why not make everything and everyone around me die so I can be miserable and cold, succumbing to the darkness is what they are waiting for me to do.

Or they really could just be punishing Bucky for not carrying out his mission, I wish to dear god he had.

Something broke the silence.

It was Bucky and his coughs but when I looked over at him I saw the blood that stained his lips.

"Are you going to throw up?" I question as I very quickly run to his side, Bucky nods and I immediately pick him up and run as fast as I can to the bathroom, I had totally forgotten about the trashcan next to Bucky's bed if I hadn't then I would've handed it to him.

Bucky's out of my arms in seconds as he throws up into the toilet but it's not bile its full on blood.

Bucky's whole body is vibrating as he tries to keep his guts inside him and soon enough he collapsed on me because his body can't take any more of this treatment, _he wasn't built for this, none of us were._

Suddenly my worst nightmare came true, _**Buck's breathing became that rhythm of stops and starts.**_

Luckily Natasha was walking by when I screamed Bucky's name.

"Steve?!" Natasha says as she runs in and see's me trying to keep Bucky awake while he's sputtering out blood.

"Oh..gosh what happened."

"I know what the virus is doing to him it's tearing him apart from the inside out." Then I mouth, "Natasha he's dying he's only got a few hours left he needs help."

she nods and she surprisingly pulls him up and holds him, I didn't think she was strong enough but I was wrong, he coughs into her shirt and as I move out of the bathroom and pass her I see the red stains already. This makes me move faster.

"Make sure he does not fall asleep okay? I'm calling Bruce."

She nods again trying to keep as quiet as she can so I can make it a quick phone call .

The phone rings twice then Bruce picks up.

"Bucky just threw up blood and he's not breathing right-" I cut him off before he can say anything because I need help now.

"I'm sending paramedics down there now ok?"

"Thanks, I'm freaking out right now, will he be ok?"

"Yes, he will, Steve because I am just adding final touches now to the serum so it should work."

"Thank you so much."

"Your welcome Steve, bye."

"Bye Bruce."

He hangs up. I turn my attention back to Natasha and Bucky to find that Natasha gave him the trash can to cough the blood into instead of dripping it all over the floor, which I'm not judging him for. He has no control over what he does now, he lost that ability probably two days ago when he grew too weak to be able to walk on his own.

The paramedics came and carried Bucky away, they wouldn't let me follow them into the med bay but they saw me in tears and decided to let me go with them anyways.

As I watched them hook buck up to a million machines I quietly prayed:

 _Hey god, look I know it's been awhile since we've spoken and I know I really have not been the most religious person lately so this goes out to anyone up there "who has their ears on", I also know not to ask favors from you but I'm in a sticky situation right now and I need serious help._

 _My best friend is dying from biological warfare and he needs all the help he can get, now I also have a friend who made a cure for him but I'm scared that it won't work. He really needs your help and since he's in critical condition he can't ask for himself._

 _Please god please help him, please make sure he doesn't die. I don't know what I'll do to myself if he dies, I can't lose him again i just can't- so please let him get well again soon because losing him again would put an end to my happy days I know you have a time and date set up for everyone when they die but I know Bucky's hasn't expired yet, please tell me it hasn't._

 **Authors note: Ok so, I feel like having Bucky's number one symptom be throwing up is some serious repetition. so I'm very sorry if you guys picked up on that but I wanted the virus to be tearing him apart from the inside. (I feel so bad for doing this to sweet little innocent Bucky. IM SORRY!) By the way bring tissues to the next two chapters they might be tear jerkers for some of you. Oh and also I know I put in the prayer thing, I didn't mean to offend anyone I just felt like it was an appropriate thing to do since Steve Is really running out of hope. I accept all religions that's why I put in the quote from supernatural- "This goes out to anyone who has their ears on." I hope you people enjoy these next two chapters!**


	9. Faith Is What You Need

Since Bucky wasn't breathing right the doctors had to put him on the ventilator, which was basically then the only thing keeping him alive because he had lapsed into a comma, I held his hand until Bruce came in.

"Hey," I say without looking up.

"So I have good news and bad news which would you prefer first." Bruce asks as he sits down next to me.

"I guess the good news first."

"So I finished the serum and it's all ready to go, he should be cured when I give it to him."

"Thank you, now bad news?"

"The bad news is that Bucky is extremely dehydrated and he needs to have fluids in him before I can give it to him so I'll have to wait to give it to him."

"And how long will that take?"

"an hour or two I don't know he's very dehydrated maybe longer, I'm really sorry Steve."

"No it's fine I'll wait, I mean he's still alive."

Bruce just pats my shoulder.

For a while I thought and thought, I had my mind set on knowing that _Bucky will not die, then I felt a little selfish. I felt like I couldn't let Bucky die for my own sake because it would keep me alive but that isn't why I can't let Bucky die, it's because he never let me die. if you thought that I always survived sickness when I was younger then you would be wrong, I've had very serious diseases that people would die from and when I recovered from them the doctors always told me "It's amazing you're alive!" Then they would say that " The tall boy with brown hair was by your side the whole time, he never let go of that hand of yours maybe he's the reason your alive." And they were right he was. Bucky was always there to make sure my ass stayed alive and that's what I'm trying to do, he never let me die and sometimes he would say to me "Steve rogers there is no dying in this house, so don't be thinking that you can die and get away with it because I'll ground your ass for life if you ever thought that." Sometimes I couldn't understand why buck would say that I mean I would already be dead so how would he ground me but never mind that, I wouldn't let Bucky die because I would've failed my one job, to keep him alive as he did for me, I already failed that job once and I won't fail again then I would've definitely let Bucky down and I can't do that._

It's so quiet in this room that all I can hear are the clicks of the ventilator every time Bucky breaths in an out, then Bruce comes in and brakes the silence.

"All right he should be ready to go."

I turn to him, "what? It's only been like to minutes since you left I thought you said an hour or two, I mean not that I don't want him to live I do but-"

"Steve your rambling and it been three hours, you dazed off two hours ago."

"Oh jeez, I really lost track of time."

"Yeah you did, you ready to do this or what?"

"Yes definitely." We both nod to each other and walk over to Bucky.

"I want you to whisper to Bucky the numbers 1,2,3, even though he's in a comma he can still hear you."

"Ok"

I walk around the bed and over to bucky's ear. It felt a little awkward but I did it anyways. "Hey buck it's Steve, banner is going to give you the cure now so on the count of 3 he's going to stick the I.v needle in-" I give a nod to bruce to tell him to get ready, he nods back. "1. 2. 3." bruce followed my cue and gently sticks the I.V In.

"He should be feeling better soon Steve by soon I mean in like an hour." I was so happy that all I could do was hug Bruce. "I can't thank you enough for this thank you!"

"Your welcome, and Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"You can let go now."

" Oh sorry," I say as I let go of him.

Bruce stays with me to check to make sure the cure is working, the whole time he stands by and watches Bucks test result, I started to notice how Bruce's face went from happy to a face that looked like he was thinking _why isn't it working?_

I tapped his shoulder.

"Out of curiosity is it working? Not to be impatient but it's been over an hour already and he hasn't woken up yet."

"Um, Steve I just want you to be prepared fro the worst ok?"

"What's that supposed to mean I thought you said he was cured."

"Yeah um his results aren't changing Steve, I don't know why their not changing I tested the cure it worked on everything else I don't know why it isn't working on him."

 _Every happy little thought on my mind died and anger bubbled up like hell rising._

"It's because hydra is controlling this god damn virus," I growl as I get up out of my seat, and grabbed my shield that just happened to be in the corner of the room.

"Cap where are you going," Bruce says as he tries to catch up with me.

"I'm going to find the people who are controlling it and make them reverse it," I yell but before I can take another step bruce spins me around with force.

"No, you are going to stay here with your best friend, I don't think you would want to die without him by your side and I don't think he wants to die without you by his side either, so you are going to march your ass right back in that room and stay with him, forget about hydra Steve, if he dies he'll die knowing that you tried your best to save him and you still stayed by his side the whole time. Besides he does better when you're with him and I have test results to prove that too." I knew Bruce was right I would've let Bucky down if I left him but I'm just angry with hydra for doing this to him. _I felt awful that I even thought of leaving him alone in his dying moments, I really feel stupid_. So I walked back with Bruce to the room.

I never left him for the rest of that night, nor did I again think of leaving him, Bruce told me that he would notify me if he sees that Bucky is getting better but nurse was with me the whole night and he never said anything, which meant Bucky was getting worse.

As I was beginning to fall asleep bruce shook my shoulder a little.

"Is he getting better?"

"No, the doctors are going to see if he wakes up tonight but if he doesn't they are going to pronounce him dead in the morning."

 _My heart crashed into a million pieces._

"What?" I say as tears begin to gather in my eyes.

"We don't see any change in his health, we can't keep him on the ventilator forever Steve, he's dead without it, if the cure doesn't kick in by morning we have to put him down."

I nod, I didn't even feel bruce leave the room along with the doctors, its was 12:00 at night so they were filling back to their rooms while the night doctors would be checking on bucky's results every half hour or so.

 _I couldn't feel anything at this point, I could even breath, how did I fail my one job, why didn't he just kill me, I would've liked it better me than him but no._

I grabbed a hold of Bucky's hand and squeezed it tightly but I didn't get a squeeze back.

I cried and cried as I held his hand, the feeling of his cold hands just made me cry more.

I will gladly carry out his wish.

I didn't sleep at all that night, and I never let go of bucky's hand. Not once did I leave his side not even to pee.

Morning came quicker then I wanted it too and I knew exactly what was going to happen, the doctors and nurses filled the room, I didn't want to watch them kill him I still believed that it wasn't his time to go but I guess I was wrong. Natasha came in and so did Sam. As stated they always have my back.

"I guess it's the end of the line Buck.." i whisper while taking a glance at Bucky.

"Steve I'm so sorry."

They both say but I don't reply to them, I can't speak anymore I have no words. My world is coming to a crashing end as the doctors go to take out the ventilator.

I look at Natasha and found both her and Sam smiling, I couldn't understand why they were smiling but then Natasha gently turned my head back to Bucky. I didn't see what they were seeing at first but then I saw it. Bucky was wide awake, he was full of color, there wasn't even a vessel that burst in his eye from the days before. He looked completely well. My jaw hit the floor.

Natasha and Sam put their hands on my shoulder as to congratulate me. "We did it Steve, he's ok."

This time I cried tears of joy.

"Steve?" Bucky says as he smiles, his voice even sounds fine too.

I return the smile. The doctors give him a check over just to make sure everything working ok and it sure as hell was.

They finally released him and I ran to see him.

They had sent him back to the room he was in before, and I was praying that they cleaned it up or else I think he would be very scared.

When I entered I saw that everything was completely clean, there was a note on the nightstand it read" "Hey its tony I cleaned the room up after they rushed Barnes out of the room, it looked like a massacre but your welcome oh and you owe me for having to deal with that mess."

I just smirked. Bucky came out of the bathroom, showered and completely dressed.

I hugged him hard.

"I'm so glad your ok Buck."

"Me too, I do not understand how you even dealt with me, I must've been horrible."

"Actually you were way better than you were when we were younger." I smile as I let him out of the embrace.

"Oh my god it feels great to be able to breathe again, you know what else feels great, being the right temperature that feels great too I'm finally not freezing my ass off or melting."

It's silent for a minute but then Bucky just bear hugs me out of nowhere.

"Thank you, Steve, thank you so much for not giving up on me, thank you for taking care of me, I just cant believe you did all that for me."

then he jumped out of the embrace, he seemed very excited.

"Dude you know what we get to do now right?"

"What?"

"Since I'm alive now we can do my wish together." I can tell he's very excited the way his eyes are lighten with happiness, I don't think he's happy to make his wish come true, I think he's happy because he's alive and well.

"Whatever you say Buck."

"Yes!"

 **Authors note: ok so the last chapter I forgot I got some inspiration from a website that I mentioned in the story but I lost the website link so I cant site it. So I don't own anything in this story.**


	10. See You In Hell-Bucky Barnes

Bucky's P.O.V

The brisk winter air felt lovely on my face as we walked through the woods leading to the hydra base.

"You sure this is it Buck?" Steve questions as we stop and take in the sight before us.

I chuckle, "Steve I'm sure as hell it is, and if it isn't well it's still hydra and I'm just doing the world a favor."

Steve hands me the walkie talkie, "You do the honors it's your wish after all."

We set up the bombs in the four corners of the facility and we made sure all innocents were out, thankfully we didn't get compromised and now it was my turn to do what should've been done a long time ago.

I turn on the walkie talkie

"Hello, fellow agents your probably all shitting yourselves because you now realize that the guy talking is the one and only winter soldier, the one you guys tried to murder with biological warfare. Well, guess what you people failed miserably and guess what else I'm freaking pissed."

"So I have a surprise in store for you, but I can't say then I would be ruining the surprise so I'll just give you a hint, let's just say that I'll see you in hell bastards."

Steve nudges my shoulder, "Come on." he says.

So we run through the woods, I smile at Steve and he smiles back at me. _This feels good_.

Once we get out of the five-mile radius range Steve hands me the button.

"Push that and the place goes 'boom-boom'," He says

So I push it.

"Bye Bye," I wave my metal hand at the building that just exploded.

Steve just looks at me.

"I'm glad to be back." I say to Steve as I hug him once more, "I'm glad you're back too buck."

 **Authors note: YES IM DONE WITH THIS STORY. Oh my gosh it was such fun to write even though I put Bucky through hell. (sorry) I really hope you guys enjoyed this story. Until next time friends!**

 **By The Way I saw doctor strange last night and it slayed my life.**


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